I have fond memories of attending day camp as a child. One of the more memorable activities was a game called “Let’s Make a Deal.” It was a game show where various contestants dressed in funny costumes would try to navigate guessing the contents of hidden prizes while negotiating with the game show host.
Dealmaking is part of life. We need to negotiate with service professionals, business associates and at times even with our children! What is fascinating is that we find in Parshas Vayeitzei, Yaakov Avinu making deals with G-d Almighty.
In the opening pesukim of the parsha our forefather Yaakov is going through a time of tremendous uncertainty. He is penniless, on the run from his murderous brother Eisav, and on route to his dubious uncle Lavan. Aside from worries of his own personal safety, he has dreams of marrying and starting a family dedicated to serving Hashem and continuing the legacy of his father and grandfather. Hashem appears to him with reassurances of Divine assistance and Yaakov falls asleep to the famous dream of angels and ladders. Yet, even upon awakening Yaakov still has fears and doubts.
So what does he do?
[1] וידר יעקב נדר לאמר
“Jacob took a vow saying”
This word לאמר, “saying”, is a funny word. It usually means that you are telling someone to repeat something to a third party. But here there would seem to be no third party as Yaakov is making a neder to Hashem. What then is the meaning of the word לאמר here?
The Midrash[2] says that Yaakov’s vow was in fact meant to be something that should be told over, לאמר לדורות כדי שיהיו נודרים בעת צרתן This was meant to be told over to all subsequent generations of the Jewish people, so they as well should know to take vows during times of difficulty.
What was the importance of this vow? If it was a good idea, why should it only be taken at times of difficulty?
In general we avoid taking vows. We have enough commitments already, and for most people it is irresponsible to take on extra obligations that they may not keep.
However during an eis tzara, a time of difficulty, it is actually a mitzvah[3] to take on additional spiritual commitments. This is true for a number of reasons.
Firstly, there is added divine merit and protection from successfully committing to something new.
However there is another reason as well. When you are worried and anxious it is difficult to have bitachon, trust in Hashem. By adding more mitzvos to your credit allows you to have more bitachon more trust in Hashem that He will help you out of it, in the merit of the mitzvah.[4]
The lesson here is that when we are concerned and it is difficult to have the faith that we would like, it is a good idea - and even a mitzvah - to find ways and perspectives to strengthen our bitachon.
What in fact was Yaakov’s neder?
Interestingly, Yaakov commits himself to two things with seemingly no connection- a House for Hashem, and tzedaka, charity.
וְהָאֶבֶן הַזֹּאת אֲשֶׁר שַׂמְתִּי מַצֵּבָה יִהְיֶה בֵּית אֱלֹהִים וְכֹל אֲשֶׁר תִּתֶּן לִי עַשֵּׂר אֲעַשְּׂרֶנּוּ לָךְ
This stone, that I have made a monument, shall be a house for Hashem, and everything that You will give me, I will tithe. (Gen. 28:22)
Houses for Hashem and the mitzvah of donating to tzedaka are of course both extremely important. Why though, did Yaakov choose these two particular things to commit himself to at this time?
I would suggest that both were ways of expressing Yaakov’s emunah and concretizing what he was hoping to gain from his vow.
A Shul, a Bais Yaakov of Boca Raton, or any mosad hatorah, are all places which we can use to serve Hashem as individuals through tefillah, and Torah learning. But equally important is the fact that these places are a matzeiva, a monument. They are places that broadcast Hashem’s existence and that there are people who recognize Him and appreciate all that He has done, and continues to do, for them.
The commentary of Rabbi Yosef Bechor Shor makes the same point in regards to Yaakov’s maaser.
Yaakov’ intention was לפרסם ששמרת לי הבטחתך, to publicize that Yaakov recognized that all that He was to receive was in fact orchestrating by Hashem, and demonstrated how He had kept his word to protect and take care of him.
In short, difficult times are bitachon opportunities and a great time to take on additional commitments. Yaakov’s examples of tzedakah and creating a mosad, were both great ways to express and enhance his bitachon in Hashem. (In fact, you can do both by giving tzedaka to BYB!) By capitalizing on our own bitachon opportunities, we can inspire ourselves, and those around us.
Wishing everyone a beautiful Shabbos,
Rabbi Binyomin Halpern
[1] Gen. 28:20
[2] BR 70:1.
[3] Eitz Yosef
[4] להיות נכון לבם בטוח בה' בזכות המצוה
